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humorous thoughts

HOW DO COURT RECORDERS KEEP STRAIGHT FACES????

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral ...

~ submitted by Wilson Wells ~

Continued tomorrow

 

 

Hello -- I have questions!

Why is it that no plastic bag will ever open from the first end you try?

How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK..? (then it's you!)

REMEMBER, A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine! And a day without sunshine is, like .... night!!!!

~ submitted by Wilson Wells ~

 

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