might be a redneck if...
totaled every car you've ever owned.
are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
taught you how to flip a cigarette.
is a wasp nest in your living room.
Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.
give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.
has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door.
burn your front yard rather than mow it.
consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
than half of your cars run.