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humorous thoughts

The Ways You Know Martha Stewart Is Stalking Your Dog

There's potpourri hanging from his/her collar.

The dog's nails have been cut with pinking shears.

The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.

The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia.

That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.

You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a #2 rosette tip.

Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting material for the birds.

A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front of your dog's crate.

Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme colored virgin wool hand knitted sweater with matching boots.

The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.

 

 

Stupid Quotes

"Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"

- Accused thief defending his own case in court (he got 10 years)

Continued tomorrow

 

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