humorous thoughts

So you thought you knew everything?

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life."

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this at home!)

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. (I wish Congress would try this)

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.




I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

So you're a feminist ... Isn't that cute!

Continued tomorrow



with access to